SO, lots of things happening since my last update! It’s been a while since I’ve written, for a variety of reasons. At first, my computer stopped working for a while, the error message reading that there was a USB overcurrent in one of my ports… I guess that my computer got better, because not only does it now turn on, but that particular USB port works fine now. I didn’t do anything to fix it, so I’m assuming it was some sort of miracle. Also, my internet modem wasn’t working for a little while there, but it has also miraculously healed itself. I’m not going to ask any questions here, I’m just happy that they’re working :)
So far, I’ve taught two levels of class, Junior Secondary One and Two. I’ve taught about The Scientific Method, Bodies in the Universe, Forces, and we’re just now starting on energy. That’s level one. In level two, we’ve talked about planets, the moon (and its various effects on the Earth), and we’re about to start on transformations of energy. It’s been difficult to do any experiments the students are involved in, but I’ve gotten a room cleared out for me, and I’m going to make it the Science Lab. I still won’t be able to get a whole class into this room to do experiments, but I’m forming a “science club,” so interested students can get hands-on experience with laboratory equipment and experimentation. I’m pretty excited about it. I *would* be working on my lab right now, but let me tell you a story that will explain why I’m going to have to take a little more time to work on it…
My principal called a meeting, during which I was drifting away, thinking of other things: you, erebos, milkshakes. My principal suddenly brings me up and talked about how much hope they were putting in me and how much I was helping the school. I thought he was referring to my numerous projects and innovative teaching curriculum, but, alas, I was mistaken. He was referring to, as yet unannounced to me, my new position as head volleyball and basketball coach for this year. He went on to tell the staff that volleyball and basketball are America’s national sports, so I was, of course, gifted in these areas. I quickly interjected and said, “I know how to PLAY volleyball… I don’t even know the rules for basketball.” Unfortunately, this was good enough to be an acceptance speech for the position of head volleyball coach. I realize now that I was haggled into the position. I was offered not one, but TWO positions I was not qualified for, so I was doing well to pardon myself from even one… This was a devilishly clever move on my principal’s part, one that I’m not likely to forgive him for, but it paled in comparison to his next play. He asked me to come with him after the meeting, and I followed, thinking that I could talk him out of this madness one-on-one in his office. We stopped amongst the students, near the stage in the middle of the courtyard. “I need to make an announcement,” he told me as we stood upon the podium. “STUDENTS!” he yelled. “THIS WEEK, WE BEGIN OUR SPORTS EDUCATION.” The students cheered, showing much more enthusiasm for kicking a ball than they ever did for studying the forces behind kicking a ball. “THIS YEAR, WE HAVE A NEW COACH…”
“Oh, sweet Jesus, no,” I thought.
“HIS NAME IS MR. CROSSLEY, AND HE IS FROM AMERICA!! HE WILL BE COACHING VOLLEYBALL, WHICH IS AMERICA’S NATIONAL SPORT!! THEREFORE, WE WILL WIN EVERY GAME WE PLAY!! LET US CHEER FOR HIM! CROSSLEY! CROSSLEY!”
The students joined in the chant. “CROSSLEY! CROSSLEY!”
“Noooo!” I thought, as I pumped my fist in the hair and bellowed, “YYYEEAAAAHHH!!!!!” but it was too late. The damage was done. And now, I am the head volleyball coach for Kamakwie Wesleyan Secondary School…
Sometimes, life is kind of like a Ben Stiller movie.






